


Who dares to dream?

by flyingonthewind



Series: A Soulmate Trilogy [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Family Feuds, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 23:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8420545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingonthewind/pseuds/flyingonthewind
Summary: Robert Lightwood is on a political Crusade against what he has termed the greatest threat against America's youth. - The deeply rooted belief in Soulmates. This crusade goes against everything that his youngest son, Max believes in. As the family faces a public scandal their relationship is put to the test. Meanwhile Catharina Loss learns the meaning of friendships. This is the first part of a series in which soulmates are found upon the touch of skin. Each part will have a different pairing at it's centre, though all three are linked and together they form a fuller story.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there and welcome to this new series. Over three one-shots I plan to take you on a journey deeper into a universe in which soulmates are found upon the touch of skin. Each one-shot will have a different pairing at it's centre, though all three are linked and together they form a fuller story. 
> 
> In this first ons-shot we meet the Lightwoods and follow Max's rebellion against the philosophy of his family. We also meet Cat and see how a group of friends is formed. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the first installment. As always, feel free to comment, and if you have any questions, let me know either here or on tumbler if you prefer. (same username.)

”We, as politicians have a responsibility!” Robert’s voice boomed through the loudspeakers, filling up the large conference hall with ease despite the cheering rising to meet him. “A responsibility to protect our people from that which may harm them. This responsibility does not lessen because there are those who cannot see the harm for what it is. In fact, it makes our jobs all the harder and all the more important. And there is a harm threatening our very society every single day. A threat which most dare not speak of for fear of those who disagree. Well I am not one of those people too scared to take a stand. I take my responsibility as your elected senator serious. And I intend to speak out, loud and clear against this evil working against us.” 

Max had to resist rolling his eyes at his father’s familiar fire speech. Four years ago, Robert Lightwood had run for Senator for the first time. Back then Max had been thirteen and more concerned with staying in touch with friends than the policies his father spewed from a stage. At seventeen Max had to fight to maintain the façade of devoted son, waving and smiling as his father appealed for re-election. The friends were never more than a text away. The policies, however, went against all that Max had come to stand for in the secret corners of his heart. 

  “I am speaking, of course, of the outspread belief in soulmates. A belief that continues to manipulate our young and vulnerable despite the fact that scientist have proven, without a doubt, that soulmates are not the ultimatum romanticist make them out to be. And so we have young people stopping themselves from living up to their full potential. Young ones sitting at home waiting for faith to bring them happiness rather than go out into the world and take it for themselves.” 

They had all been dragged to the conference hall. The entire Lightwood family, lined up nice and neat across the stage like some model of perfection. Their mother, two steps behind and one to the side, looked the part of a senator’s wife in her pastel dress suit, laser-sharp makeup and intricate hair-do. She played the part to perfection, too, with her charity work, housewife persona and back-seated career in Law. That she was truly the woman behind the man was only seen in the harshness of the steel-grey eyes and in the tightness of her permanent smile. 

To the left of the stage the wonder-kids stood side by side, neat and proper, exactly as expected of them. Jace, with his boy-next-door looks and bad-boy smirk, was hailed the golden boy by the press. He had come to personify the very image of Robert’s campaign, proving, once and for all, that blood could be trumped by hard work and dedication. Izzy followed in her mother’s footsteps, admired for her chic sense of fashion and feared for her headstrong business persona. The pair were the media darlings, the ones to thrive in the spotlight. With just the right amount of public scandals and a continuously expanding list of achievements, the two managed to be always topical and worthy of attention. 

Max and Alec had been hidden away on the right side of the stage, angled away from the press section of the audience. The pair offered a nice touch of symmetry with their styled dark hair and unremarkable black designer suits. Alec was quite a bit taller,though, and looked more like a body guard than a politician’s son with his arms folded in front of him and a serious mask almost permanently on his face. He would rather be invisible, Max knew, and strove to be as far from the light as possible. Max was fine with the light. His mother was the one to keep him out of it. In the last election cycle they had played the cute kid card. Since then, however, he had gotten ‘difficult’ in his mother’s words. He refused to conform to the image of perfection his parents were trying to portray. And so he was hidden away, hair slicked back to hide the buzz-cut sides and red-died tips and wrapped in a plain suit to dull him out. 

  “This is why we propose legislation that prevent bonded pairs from sharing property before the age of 30, and expand scholarship programs for un-bonded youths. We must discourage this apathy, both by punishing the glorification of soulmates and by offering incentive to work against this harmful system.” Loud cheers rose to meet Robert’s words, and Max spotted his mother clapping along from her position, an approving smile on her face. 

  “My family is the perfect proof of what can happen when this romanticised behaviour is nipped at the bud. My wife and I are not a bonded pair, yet we have been happily married for more than twenty years.” – ‘Except from that affair three years back’, Max thought to himself, ‘and that time they had me to try and salvage a dissolving relationship.’ “Our four children are all high achievers carving out places for themselves in this world. They go to the best colleges in the world, and back their education up with both sports and academic extra-curricular. The idea of soulmates does not hold them back because they do not allow them to. That is what we, as a society owe it to our young ones to teach them. Thank you.” Ignoring the pounding of his head, Max smiled and waved his way through the applause hitting his family like a wave of sound. This farce was getting repetitive and ridiculous, yet there was next to nothing he could do to escape it. 

(*)

  “She’s only doing this because of my dad.” Max ranted, letting his backpack dump to the floor next to the door. “Just because he’s leading a crusade against soulmates, doesn’t mean I actually agree with him!” throwing his arms up in the air, Max allowed himself to fall dramatically onto the bed, legs dangling off over the side. “It’s just not fair that we get the hardest assignment just because of him and his pigheadedness!” Simon hummed his agreement, fiddling with his phone before soft indie music floated through the speakers of the docking station hidden behind masses of books and comics taking over the desk under the window.  

Simon had been Max’s close friend since kindergarten. They had bonded over being small and bespectacled. Over the years Max had, admittedly, fallen a tiny bit in love with his best friend. By the age of seventeen the feelings had settled into something warm and fuzzy; no longer a strong romantic kind of love that Simon would never reciprocate, but rather the pleasant and soft kind of love shared between close friends. 

  “Maybe she just have faith in our abilities?” Simon offered, sliding into place on the bed next to Max. They lay, side by side, on their backs staring at the ceiling. 

  “Nah,” Max hummed, turning his head to send his friend a dry look, “It has to be the dad thing.” 

Mrs. Warrington had assigned a paper on the impact of soulmates on popular culture to her senior electives class in sociology. The papers were to be written in predetermined pairs and in accordance with a pre-written statement handed out by Mrs. Warrington herself. She was young, idealistic and newlywed. As a teacher she was passionate and energetic, and she expected the same of her students. 

When Max had read the statement ‘fact and fiction in political rhetoric regarding soulmates’ he had barely been able to stop the groan rolling through him. He knew, without a doubt why he had gotten this exact topic, and being paired with Simon hardly made up for the fact that this paper had been judged before it had ever been written. Mrs. Warrington was not a fan of Robert Lightwood and his crew. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Simon said, “But there’s no use in groaning about it. let’s just get it done. What fictitious things is it that your father spew all the time? Lets just go for them to start of with.” Max groaned before holding his hand up between them.

  “Let’s count, shall we.” He held up one finger. “Firstly, there’s the ‘more than one soulmate’ thing. I mean, yeah it’s true that some researchers say that we share DNA markers with a multitude of people, and that we have the potential to bond with any one of them. But you can only ever bond once. That’s it. No matter what happens, no matter how many potential soulmates you have you get one. – Like, take Alec’s friend, Lydia. She met her soulmate in high school, and she was really happy. Until he died in a car crash. Slam. Gone. She won’t ever find anyone else.” Max trailed off, turning his head to look at his friend. Simon was staring up at his own ceiling, fingertips lightly trailing over the brown leather cuff almost permanently covering up his soul-mark. – The soulmark that was so reminiscent of his father’s that his mother still teared up at the sight of it. “But you already know all about that.” Simon smiled sadly, and nodded without taking his eyes of the ceiling. 

  “Anyway. Second on the list. Soulbonds – which shouldn’t even be taken seriously in the first place – cannot be accepted when occurring between two of the same gender. These bonds should be considered as glitches, and therefore treated as such. Utter bullshit!”  

“Yup,” Simon agreed, a more honest smile creeping onto his face.“As you say, you’re not going to love whoever your soulmate is any more or less because of their gender.”

  “Damn straight. Or, well. Maybe not.” Max smirked at the ceiling. He had come out as Pan to his friend a few months ago. It had been one of the most nerve-wracking moments of his life, but Simon had simply stared at him for a long moment and then, in typical Simon fashion, said “Cool. Have you listened to the latest UMO track?” From there the conversation had been derailed, and their friendship had reverted back to almost normal procedures. The topic had become one of those random points of references that would show up in their usual banter, or the focal points of one of their more philosophical discussions. Like when Simon had told max that he’d been thinking about the whole thing, and found that he was rather sure his soulmate would be female. But then, how does one know for sure?

  Simon groaned from next to him on the bed, reaching behind himself to grab a pillow which he used to swat at a laughing Max. “Let’s just get on with the list, wisecracker,” he said, blocking the pillow Max had aimed back at him. 

“Thirdly, the thing about searching for a soulmate stopping you from striving for high things in life. False connections, much?” 

(***)

Cat let the door fall closed behind her, leaning her back against it. With one long swoosh she let all the air in her lungs escape, imagining the last few hours of her life evaporate with it. Starting college was hard, she thought to herself as the colorful backpack slid down her one arm until it landed on the floor next to her with a light flump. Her brothers had warned her of this, but they had done so with warm smiles of encouragement, so it hadn’t been all that credible. At least that was the explanation she used to furnace her excuses for this bone aching tiredness taking over her body every afternoon these days. 

Today the flat she shared with one of her adopted brothers was blessedly quiet and empty. Not that Ragnor was that much of a noisemaker. In fact it was Magnus, out of their club-of-thee of former fosterkids, that held the title of drama-queen. Hence, why he got to live alone rather than stay in the small flat she and Ragnor called home. But seeing as Magnus had a tendency to forget which flat was his, and the fact that he had an aversion for being on his own, silence was, at times, hard to come by. 

On her way to the living room, Cat clicked the electric kettle to boil water for a nice cup of tea. - The only thing that might help her survive thinking about the masses of homework waiting in the backpack that was a present from her dear noisy brother-from-another-mother. The living room was as tiny as the rest of the place, though they had gone at great lengths to make it a place for relaxing as a family. Ragnor’s dark red armchair was pushed against the wall next to the plush couch under the one window facing the brick wall of the neighbouring building. Magnus had picked out the yellow monstrosity, and paid for it with his first four paycheques, only to decide it didn't fit the colour-scheme of his new home when he moved. Neither Ragnor nor Cat had had the heart to get rid of it, and thus it continued on taking up what felt like half of the room. The rest of the space was taken up by bookshelves brimming over with dusty volumes collected from used bookstores and garage sales over a timespan equalling Ragnor’s 26 years. 

The yellow monstrosity was unsurprisingly comfy, and Cat favoured curling up in one corner of it, sipping her tea as she read one of her course books, or, a rare once in a while, one of Ragnor’s thousand recommendations when time allowed. That day, the day Ragnor was blessedly out of the house for once, Cat had made a promise to herself that if she got through Prof. Steinwick’s lesson, she would get to start in on the book Ragnor had raved about for a whole week a short while ago. She had only just gotten submerged into the admittedly brilliant plot when her phone suddenly and abruptly pulled her back out of the imagined universe of the book. 

  “Hey, Magnus. How’s the squatter?” A couple of weeks before Magnus had, out of the kindness of his heart and out of his desire to not be alone, agreed to house the friend of a friend whose place had been infested with termites. Unfortunately, this friend of a friend had not exactly agreed with Magnus’ plans of chatting into the small ours over a cup of hot cocoa or something stronger. 

  “Yeah, fine. Grumpy, but fine. Anyway, Cat-kitty-cat, you need to get over here. Right! Now!” Despite the urgency with which Magnus’ words were delivered, there was not hint of danger in the enthusiastic voice. 

  “Yeah? Why’s that? I thought Ragnor was there to entertain you today?” Cat sank further into the cushions, stretching her legs out lazily. 

  “He is. Or, well, he kind of is, but he’s… distracted. I’m not going to tell her! Jeez.” The eye-roll was practically audible in his voice as he addressed someone else - presumably Ragnor. 

  “Tell me what?” Cat perked up. Out of their little untraditional pack Ragnor was not the one to keep the most secret or get involved in the most intrigues. Perhaps because he had decided to wait patiently for his soulmate to show up in due time. Magnus was the type who spend most of his Saturday evenings scouring the city in search of his match, and, when he didn’t succeed, find someone equally unsuccessful to spend the wait with. Cat wasn’t entirely convinced by the argument that someone filling out the other half of the concentric circle based pattern on her left forearm meant that that person was her perfect forever-match. Ragnor did believe in it, though. Or maybe it was that he hoped, with all his heart, that out there in the wide world there was someone who belonged with him; Someone who wouldn’t arbitrarily leave him in spite of the bond that was supposed to secure a lifetime of love. Cat hoped, deep in her heart, that such a love truly existed for her patient brother. 

  “I promised not to say!” Magnus practically whined into the phone. “Just get over here, please!” 

  “Okay, okay. I’ll be there in ten.” Cat sighed, placing her mug on the small table in front of the couch, and got to her feet. So much for a quiet afternoon of, she thought to herself as she put her coat back on and left the coolness of the small flat.

(***)

  “Oh good, you’re here.” Magnus smiled almost creepily wide as he pulled her into his flat. “We’re in the living room.” Magnus’ flat was about the same size as the one Cat and Ragnor shared, only it was hidden away under the ceiling of an old building. The slanted walls made furnishing hard, which was why Magnus had gone for a Feng shui type of minimalistic decor. The walls of the living room was painted a slightly too bright mustardy yellow, and a large brown and yellow patterned carpet covered most of the hardwood floor. A low and less monstrous sofa took centre stage in the middle of the room, paired with a glass-topped coffee-table.    On the light grey couch, Ragnor sat next to a man Cat hadn’t seen before.  He was kind of handsome, with dark tousled hair and piercing blue eyes, which were dancing with mischief and giddiness. 

Raphael, Magnus’ temporary roommate, was stood leaning against the bit of wall next to the door to his room, arms crossed as he watched the couple on the couch. There was a rare hint of a smile on his face, and spark of happiness in his dark eyes. 

“Cat’s here,” Magnus announced, following Cat into the room with a flourish of over-exited limbs. Ragnor, who had seemed enthralled with what the stranger was saying in a quiet voice, looked up and over at her. There was a quiet sort of smile on his face the like of which she had never seen before. 

“Hey, sis.” The nickname was not one Ragnor was prone to using. In fact it only came out when Ragnor was overcome with emotions of some sort. The sense of premonition that had been brewing in the pit of Cat’s stomach grew at the word, sending almost pleasant sparks throughout her body. 

  “Hey Rag’s,” A smile almost the size of Magnus’ started growing on her face. 

  “I’d like you to meet someone,” Ragnor had gotten to his feet, and started to walk towards her only to hesitate and look back at the man still sitting on the couch. “This is Will Herondale,” 

  “His _soulmate_.” Magnus nearly squealed from next to Cat, clapping his hands and bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Isn’t it amazing Kit-Cat?” he swung an arm around her, and she could practically feel the genuine happiness seep from him to her. 

  “It really is.” Cat shrugged of Magnus’ arm and went over to hug her other brother. The three of them had been through something akin to hell in their short lives. Getting to share this drop of pure happiness with these two men send a warmth blazing through her, scorching away much of the old hurt. “I’m so happy for you!” She whispered into Ragnor’s ear. His eyes were glowing when she pulled back, and his thank-you was filled with overbrimming emotion. She flashed him a heartfelt smile and turned to introduce herself to the man who now held her brother’s heart in the palm of his hand. 

(***)

“Morning little brother,” Izzy smiled at Max over the rim of her coffee mug. “I made pancakes.” 

“Thanks, but you know how I can’t eat in the mornings,” Max lied smoothly, sending his sister a cheeky grin. She scowled playfully back at him, ruffling his hair as he slipped past her to get at the mugs in the high cupboards behind her. 

  “Got classes today?” Max absentmindedly poured coffee into the mug, mind already drifting from the question he just asked. Izzy had hummed in affirmation, only to go on a tirade about one of her professors. Out of the whole bunch of children, Max was the only one who needed three cups of black coffee to be able to keep his eyes open in the morning. 

Izzy was still ranting when the two remaining Lightwood children came huddling into the sleek kitchen, looking, both of them, uncharacteristically worse for wear. Izzy stopped her word-stream to stare at them. 

  “Rough night?” she asked, then, and there was an almost dangerous glint gleaming in her sharp eyes. 

  “Whatever gave you that idea?” Jace slipped onto one of the barstools, and let his head fall onto the table, the soft thud cutting his sentence in half. Alec, dark scowl in place, wordlessly mashed his way between Izzy and Max to get at the coffee pot. 

  “Oh, boys. Shouldn’t you know better? Partying on a school night?” Izzy was shaking her head in judgement. Reaching blindly across the smooth granite surface, Jace managed to locate the fruit ball. An apple flew across the room, straight passed Izzy’s head, and into Max’s hand. 

  “Thanks, bro,” Max grinned, taking a bite out of the apple, and smirking at Izzy. 

  “So, did you at least get up to anything scandalous?” Izzy made her way around the counter to skip onto the stool next to Jace. 

  “Nope,” Jace turned his head to look up at Izzy, “All together boring night. Though i lost that one for like an hour, and he wouldn’t tell me what he’d been up to,” he pointed to where Alec was sipping his coffee silently. 

  “Ohh,” the look Izzy levelled at Alec was almost predatory, as she twisted in the barstool. Despite the fact that Alec never got into anything even resembling trouble, especially when on his own, a blush was rising in his cheeks. Before Izzy (or Max) could start the interrogation, though, their banter was interrupted by the slamming of the kitchen door. 

  “Alexander. Your father would like a word.” Maryse Lightwood wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine most days. Today, however, she resembled a thunderstorm. Lightning practically shot from her eyes when they landed on her eldest, who perplexedly fumbled his mug onto the kitchen counter and scrambled to pass her in the doorway. “Max. School,” she levelled him with a hard look before following Alec out the door with determined strides. 

Max afforded himself just enough time to exchange confused looks with Jace and Izzy. Being summoned to Robert’s office was not precisely a rare occurrence, though it happened to the three still in the kitchen far more often than it did to Alec. Shrugging his shoulders, Max thought it wisest to obey his mother, just this once, and went to get his school supplies from his room.

  “… where you thinking?!” Maryse’s enrage voice ricocheted of the walls of the hallways outside the office. Max slowed to a stop, caught by the ferocity in his mother’s voice. This sounded serious. 

  “I wasn’t,” Alec’s voice was small and curt. It never, as a rule, was that. Alec was the voice of reason in a family of lunacy and hot tempers. A rock of calm in a house of frequent storms. “I didn’t realise there were cameras there. I apologise,”

  “You apologise?” Maryse’s voice cut like a knife, “Well that’s alright then. We’ll just tell the press you didn’t think they’d be at a charity ball and that they should ignore your escapades because of this negligence. Do you have any idea what this could do to your father’s campaign? To everything this family has worked for?”  

  “I’ll fix it.” There was nothing in Alec’s voice to back up the assuredness of his claim. 

  “Oh, it’s too late for that. Leave. I have a mess to clean up.” the door squeaked slightly, as Alec pushed it open a moment later. 

  “Alexander,” Robert’s voice had Alec’s shoulder draw even tighter around his ears as he stopped in the doorway, head inclined back towards the room. “I trust you know this can never happen again.” Max’s heart twisted into knots at the sight of his steadfast rock of a brother, shoulders falling abruptly, head hanging in shame and defeat. 

  “Yes, sir,” his voice was tiny. Alec let the door slide closed, then closed his eyes and let all air leave his body on one long exhale. 

  “What’s going on?” Max asked, the silence of the hallway suffocating. Alec’s head shot around to spot Max stood by the top of the staircase. His eyes were lifeless, his face pale and wax-like. The ten minutes that had passed since Max saw him last, in the kitchen, seemed to have aged his brother by years. 

  “Go to school, Max,” was all Alec said, before turning on his heel and walking to his room.

(***)

“You’re into boys?” Max let the door to Alec’s room slam against the wall. Alec flinched as Max slammed the magazine down onto the desk next to his older brother. “You’re into boys, and this is how we find out?” on the glossy front page, a picture of the eldest Lightwood with his tongue down some decidedly male but otherwise remarkably anonymous person’s throat, was framed by outraged headlines and smaller pictures of A- to D-list celebrities getting into much less scandalising troubles. At the sight of the cover, a shudder ran through Alec’s body. 

  “Please, don’t,” he hushed out, not even rising his eyes to meet Max’s burning gaze. 

  “No! You don’t get to weasel out of this,” Max forcefully grabbed the back of Alec’s chair and twisted it around so that he came face to face with his brother. Alec had looked like an aged old man this morning, but now he had now reverted to the young robot-like male he always portrayed himself as in public. “So is this like a recent thing? Or was the whole I’m so proud of you being honest with yourself thing just a lie?” Alec had been the first person Max had ever mentioned his conflicted feelings about attraction to. He had been the perfect big brother back then, listening patiently and attentively to all the doubts and fears plaguing Max’s young brain, and then proceeding to be reassuring and supporting in his assurances that whatever Max felt was entirely all right.  

  “It was a mistake, Max,” There was no patience in Alec’s voice now, as he forced the chair back around, waving the magazine of the desk as he went. 

  “A mistake?” Max stooped down to pluck the magazine off of the floor, slamming it back onto the desk with at harsh smack. “So you just accidentally stuck you tongue down a man’s throat? That just happened by pure chance did it? Or is it that you were so out of it that you didn’t even realise it was a man? Or are you just a coward?”

  “Not everyone are as prone to rebelling as you, Max,” Alec snapped, flashing his brother a sharp look before getting up from his chair in a swirl, marching towards the door and pulling it open. “Now, if you don’t mind, I don't have time for your judgement.” 

Fighting among the Lightwood siblings was no uncommon occurrence. - It came with the territory of being a family of hard-willed individuals. Thus Max was more than used to screaming matches with Izzy and scatting remarks thrown through the air between Jace and him. He wasn't even unfamiliar with the icy silence that was Alec’s wrath.

 The fury that filled him in the face of Alec’s stone faced determination was another thing all together. Never before had an anger burned with such flames as it did then. His jaw clenched so badly, no words were able to get past his lips as he marched towards the door Alec held open for him. Instead, he made sure to catch Alec’s eyes. Max made no attempt at hiding the disgust he felt in that moment, as he stared his brother down. Max’s hands were shaking as he shoved past Alec, and the slamming of the door echoing down the hall after him did nothing to cool the fire in his heart. 

(***)

  “He’s getting fucking married!” Max felt his voice vibrate uncontrollably as he hissed into the phone. The July-sun was scorching against his neck as he kicked at a pebble on the roadside. “His solution to getting caught sucking face with Random Dude is to get fucking hitched to his best friend!” 

  “What?!” Simon’s voice was filled with confusion. 

  “Yup. Alexander Lightwood is officially getting married to Lydia Brandwell. In three months.” The playground nearby the Lightwood home was blessedly deserted in the summer heat, and Max let himself sink onto a swing, kicking of the ground to soar back and forth. 

  “But that’s crazy!” Simon, being the good friend he was, effortlessly matched Max’s outrage. 

   “I know!” Max groaned, throwing his head back to stare at the almost surreally blue sky above him. “And it was just, like, the biggest farce, you know? Like, mom made him tell everyone at dinner, and make pretend like this was some big joyous occasion. And when I didn’t clap my hands in excitement, like Izzy was legit trying to do, Mom send me this killer look, you know, like a ‘you better not work against me on this’ kind of look. I just had to get out of there. I just ran.” The sky hardly seemed to move above him as Max swooshed back and forth on the small swing, head thrown back to watch the tops of trees and edges of branches drift in and out of view. 

  “So is he really going through with it? or is it just a ploy to distract the media? I mean, your family is running a pretty intense campaign. Where does wedding planning even fit into it?” Simon asked through the phone pressed between Max’s shoulder and ear. 

  “I have no idea. I mean, I think he’s pretty serious about getting married, but I didn’t stick around to hear the exact plans.” The mere thought of the look on Maryse’ face as she proclaimed her excitement over this engagement was enough to make Max’s insides twist. For a long time, he had known that her children’s wellbeing came only second to the family image. But that dinner had cemented this knowledge for good, and Max knew he wanted no part in any of it. Not any more. 

  “Well, shit. But the thing. With, you know, Random Dude. What’s the deal with that? I mean. Is he, like, gay or bi or what? Did you find out?” Max sighed heavily at his friend’s questions. The look on Alec’s face as he told Max he wasn’t a rebel still filled Max with unprecedented wrath. He wasn’t even sure why it bothered him that much, but he had a sense it had to do with the heavy feeling of betrayal sitting tight in his gut. 

  “No. I didn’t. He just brushed me off entirely. But this is not a sane reaction, either way. And it just. It pisses me off that he doesn’t value his own happiness higher after the number of fire speeches he’s been giving me.” 

  “No, I totally get that. This is pretty up there for irrational reactions.” Max hummed his agreement, forcing the swing to a sudden stop. 

  “I just don’t wanna look at any one of them right now.” he admitted quietly, kicking at the sandy pit beneath his feet. 

 “Then come over here. I’m sure we can cook up an excuse to get you a sleep-over. My mum loves you, so.” Max found himself huffing out a slight chuckle, nodding even though Simon couldn’t see. 

  “Yeah. Sounds good. I’ll be there in a moment.” Max got to his feet, making his way across the playground in the opposite direction of the one he had come from. 

(***)

It was a glorious late-september day. One of those days that made your skin itch to not be stuck inside when the sun was once again blazing from an azure blue sky with little dots of whiter than white clouds drifting lazily on a wind that would fold itself over any exposed piece of skin like a soft caress. The trees of Central Park were just beginning to show signs of changing colour, the mint and moss greens inter-sprinkled with soft yellows and orangey tones. The grass of the great lawns was still soft and green, and the lake sparkled dark and rich in the soft autumn sunlight. 

  Cat tilted her head up towards the sky above as she strolled along the gravel paths. The sun felt pleasant against her dark skin, and the air was a nice trade-off from the blistering heat of summer. 

  “Hey Kitty-Cat,” Magnus slung an arm around her, matching his step to hers. She blinked her eyes open, and turned her head towards her brother to send him a smile. She had somehow lured their little group of friends to join her on her walk in the park. In front of her Ragnor was walking, one hand in his pocket, while the fingers of the other was intermingled with Will’s. Her brother’s soulmate had fit himself into their little trinity with almost suspicious ease. Will was younger than Ragnor by some years, and was still in college. He was studying something to do with Robots or technology or something along those lines, and suddenly the table in the corner next to the yellow monstrosity was covered with  indecipherable diagrams and depictions of lines crisscrossing their way across the page. Stubs of wires had to be cleared of the table in the evening before dinner. Cat found herself not caring. Not when an almost permanent smile had taken up accommodation on her brother’s otherwise serious face. It also helped that Will was surprisingly easy to talk to, with his easy demeanour and quiet presence. 

Will wasn't the only person to have taken up near constant presence in their lives. He’d brought with him two of his old friends. James, a quick-witted man, with mischief written into the corner of his unusual silver eyes, brought out the prankster in Will. The two of them had one of the closest friendships Cat had ever seen. Even as they walked Will had linked his arms with Jem’s, and was talking to him almost more than he was to Ragnor. 

Raphael, Magnus’ former involuntary roommate, turned out to be one of Will’s eldest friends. He was walking beside Cat, arms folded firmly across his chest. He was wearing his customary scowl, and was wrapped up as if ready for an expedition to Antartica despite the plus 60 degrees. Cat had learned that the scowl and the grumpy modus operandi was in fact the protective shields worn to protect a warm-blooded heart that had seen much in its 20-some years on earth. 

  “So, I hope you’re not scared of penguins.” Cat turned to address Raphael. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, ignoring Magnus sniggering from next to her. “I assumed, what with the getup, that you’re prepping for an arctic expedition,” She smirked, which caused Raphael to roll his eyes. 

  “Hey,” Will called from in front, turning on the spot to walk backwards, “Are you teasing Raphael about his foreign oddities? Because i hold the sole license for that,” He smirked. 

  “I happen to have a fondness for penguins, and am very exited about my pressing personal encounter with them, thank you very much,” Raphael cut over Will’s self-satisfied smirk, his voice kept on the monotone he always spoke in, that had Cat always second-guessing whether he was serious or not. 

  “Are we going to the zoo? How exiting!” Ragnor turned on the spot as well to send Raphael a teasing wink. Raphael rolled his eyes again, fixing his scarf demonstratively, as the rest of the group laughed. 

(***)

The music was blaring loudly and obtrusively through the speakers on his desk. The door was shut firmly, though not locked. Max knew he was being a teenage brat as he threw himself on the bed, flopping over to stare at the ceiling. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care about his mother’s angry shouts, or Jace banging on the wall. He was in a horrible mood, and he wanted them to know it. 

He’d been in a foul mood since starting college back in September. The ongoing wedding farce had a large portion of the blame, but that day it had to share top spot with an undeserved C on a paper on Economic policy. Determined to allow his obnoxiously loud music wash away the frustration, Max closed his eyes and counted his breaths in time with the heavy beats rocking through his body. 

  “Max!” Alec’s voice made Max jolt from the bed. He was standing in the open door, a no-nonsense look in his steel-like eyes. Max glared at him anyway. “Turn the music down before mum gets here. She is in no mood to be messed with, believe me. - The caterer messed up, and she’s on the warpath.” Maintaining his glare, Max got up from the bed, marched over to the stereo and turned down the volume while still trying to uphold an air of defiance. “And Max.” There was still a hard edge to Alec’s voice, though there was no anger behind it. “I know you’re staging a protest against my marriage, but I need you to meet me in the middle here. Dealing with mum’s hard enough. Just come with me to this meeting with another caterer. Izzy’s coming. Maybe we can make it a sibling-bonding thing before I move?” 

  “Nah, bro, sorry, but no can do. I’m busy that day.” Max turned his back on his brother as he spoke. He was, as Alec had said, staging a protest against the wedding, and point blank refused to participate in anything to do with it. That didn’t mean that seeing the hurt in Alec’s eyes didn’t chip away at his resolve every time he said no.   

  “Right, well, it’s on Tuesday after your Econ class. I can pick you up if you change your mind,” Alec sighed from the doorway. 

  “Don’t count on it,” Max pretended to fiddle with some papers on his desk. A beat or two Max could feel Alec’s eyes on his back. The the sound of the door softly closing cut over the now low music. Max huffed to himself, shaking of the feeling of guilt and dismay. By this time he wasn’t even entirely certain why he was upholding his protest. There was just something about the whole ordeal that really upset him. He suspected it had to do with the sort of defeated air clouding his strong and dependable brother’s eyes these days. Maybe he subconsciously hoped that if he kept hating the idea of a wedding, Alec would realise what a stupid idea it was. Because it was stupid. everyone could see that if they only wanted to look. With another huff, Max grabbed his headphones. Just because he couldn’t play his music aloud didn't mean he couldn’t blast away his thoughts through the sheer power of sound waves. 

(***)

Econ was, seriously, the most stupid subject to ever have existed on any timetable ever. Max slammed his book down, stomping down the stairs to take refuge from homework behind a cup of coffee. The fact that Alec’s invitation to join him and Izzy at the caterers had been playing hide and seek with his mind all day was not allowed to interfere with his determination to blame everything on the workload he found himself placed under. He was almost done with his second cup when the sound of the front door slamming closed reverberated throughout the house. With a frown on his face he placed his cup on the granite tabletop, and went to investigate.

  “Seriously Izzy. This could be the chance of a lifetime.” Alec’s voice drifted down the hallway connecting the foyer and the kitchen. 

  “Can it big brother,” Izzy’s voice was filled with ice picks. 

  “Are you seriously going to throw this amazing chance of happiness away?” Max snort made both his siblings turn to where he had stopped in the doorway. Izzy had been in the process of taking of her coat, because even a hissy-fit couldn't prevent her from treating her clothing with the utmost respect. Alec was still standing by the front door, his arms folded across his chest, a glare carved into his face. 

“You’re such a hypocrite,” Max told him, rolling his eyes for good measure. Alec scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. 

  “This is completely different, Max. Izzy actually met her soulmate! And she’s point-blank refusing to even try and see what happens.” 

  “What?!” Max turned his burning gaze to his sister, who shrugged and glared right back. 

  “I’m not letting some cook hold me back just because of some black malformation on my wrist.” She held up her wrist to show the changed mark on it. 

  “Izzy, seriously,” Alec moved to twist Izzy’s chin around in order to make her look at him, “I’m not asking you to marry this guy right on the spot.” 

  “Really? Cause i though that was your go to reaction to unwanted situations,” Max cut over from the doorway. The same rage that had been flaring up every time the word wedding or soulmate had been mentioned the last few months was flaring up anew. 

  “I’m just saying give it a shot. You might be surprised.” Izzy twisted her head out of Alec’s grip, stepping back to glare at him from a distance. 

  “You have no right to say that! You’re the one throwing away any chance of happiness just because you’re too afraid to admit you’re gay!”  

  “Izzy!” The Lightwood children were not unfamiliar with fighting. A lifetime of tempers had taught them what buttons to push to get a rise out of someone. They knew exactly where the lines were and when to cross them. Alec's wrath was quiet and deadly like an ice storm. All the Lightwood children knew that. Yet the supercooled edge to the hissed name of his only sister send a chill through the room unlike any Max had ever seen before. If it hadn’t been for the fire burning in his own veins, Max probably would have been frozen to the spot like Izzy. 

  “So you are gay, then?” Max stepped into the foyer, slowly and measured, like a tiger surveying it’s prey before it pounces. Alec followed his movements with eyes dark and blazing. “And you told Izzy? Izzy who’s as straight and narrow as anything? But me, the queer brother who you know has been looking for someone in this family to be on his side, he doesn’t get a mention? He just gets a fake as fuck speech about support and fucking empathy?!” By then he was up in Alec’s face. “Seriously?!” With as much power as he held, he pushed his brother hard in the chest, but Alec hardly stumbled. 

  “Max,” Izzy reached for him, her hand tight around his shoulder. 

  “Don’t, just don’t!” Max whirled around to stare her down. “I can’t fucking believe any of you! You have a soulmate, Izz! You have the one thing that 85% of the young population dream of having, and you just go “nah, he's gonna stop me from achieving my dreams.” But guess what miss queen of the world. Soulmates don’t stop you from dreaming. You do!” He had been standing right in Izzy’s space, demanding eye contact. But the real possibility of hurting her made him take a couple of steps back. Neither of his siblings said anything as he clenched and unclenched his hands. His breath felt like fire burning his throat with every heave. “59% of people who have lost their soulmates say that the excruciating pain of losing someone you love with heart and soul, can never be compared to the honour of having been allowed to know that love at all. My best friend lost his father, and now he has to wear a cuff to hide the mark he is more proud of than anything, because if he doesn't his mother will burst into tears. And you called it, what, a malformation? I’m ashamed to be related to you.” ignoring the hint of tears hiding behind a mask of furry on Izzy’s face, Max twirled on his heels to face Alec, who had been silently watching him with the same look in his eyes as that of a animal tamer dealing with a rampant lion. “You think hiding behind a wedding ring is going to stop you from being attracted to other men? It just, it blows my mind that someone with your brain and your heart can be so utterly stupid! I just, I don’t get it.” 

  “Maxwell Lightwood!” Maryse’ voice was like the sharp snap of a whip slamming through the large foyer. Max spun once again to find his mother stood on the lowest step of the ornate staircase. “Go to your room this instance!” 

  “Oh, I know mother. I’m grounded. Again. You know, I’m surprised you’re even contemplating letting me attending this sham of a wedding. You know I can’t guarantee I wont throw one of my teenage rage-fits. It’s all about the hormones, you know,” Max defiantly met his mother’s eyes as he marched past her on his way up the stairs. 

  “I will address that comment in a moment. Go to your room, and stay there, young man.” 

Max’ heart was pounding loud and strong in his ears, nearly drowning out the sound of his door slamming closed behind him. He didn't hesitate, didn't even consider stopping, before he climbed out the window and started running as fast as his feet could carry him away from his family home. 

(***)

  “Cat? Wake up. Cat?” Blearily, Cat blinked her eyes open to find Ragnor standing over her bed. It was dark in the room, though the hallway light snuck in through the gab by the door. 

  “What is it?” she mumbled, sitting up to prevent herself from falling back asleep.

  “James is in the hospital. We need to leave.” Cat blinked her eyes rapidly to assure herself that what Ragnor had just said wasn’t a dream.  

  “The hospital?” she repeated, searching Ragnor’s face. Even the low light couldn't hide the fear and sadness in his eyes. “Why?” 

  “Apparently he has a genetic decease. It’s bad.” 

Will was on the phone in their living room. He was wearing a pair of worn out sweatpants and one of Ragnor’s t-shirts, and his hair was a mess. He was speaking fast, and everything in his movements screamed distress. Even the hand Ragnor gently folded around his neck did little to calm him. 

  “Yeah, we’re leaving now.” He told whoever he was speaking to, twisting to catch Ragnor’s eyes. “I’ll call you the second I know anything.” Will hung up the phone, and collapsed against Ragnor, who caught him in a tight embrace. 

The hospital was cold and strangely quiet in the middle of the night. Nurses and doctors were rushing past the waiting area, but only few other relatives were drifting in and out of the secluded area. The Nurse presiding over the place from her desk had had little information for them. Jem was being seen to, and a doctor would be out shortly. Cat had called Magnus from the cab, and he’d promise to pick up Raphael on his way to the hospital. The ashen look on Will’s face was all she needed to know that this was beyond serious. 

  “It’s his kidneys. They’re shot. The doctors knew about it, but. Kidneys can’t be fixed. Once they’ve been damaged, that’s it. Only new kidneys can save him in the long run. But. He’s still young. The damages get worse over time, so. The doctors keep him low on the list. They claim he has time, but. A weakening of his immune-system is… dangerous.” Will’s voice was low and detached as he spoke. He was leaning heavily against Ragnor, whose arm was wrapped tightly around his shoulder. “I’m guessing they’re putting him through dialysis tonights and then we’ll wait and see.” He let his head fall unto Ragnor’s shoulder, and Cat could practically see all energy seep from him. “I tried testing if I was a match but I’m not. I hate that i can’t do anything for him.” Ragnor twisted to press a kiss into his soulmate’s hair.

That night, waiting at the hospital, was one of the longest nights in Cat’s life. Magnus and Raphael arrived before the doctor. Raphael was pale and silent, spending most of the night in a chair, unmoving and unmoved by anything going on around him. Only his intense dark eyes gave his acute awareness away. Magnus was quiet too, as he seemed to be folding in on himself. He was restless, pacing back and forth with his arms wrapping around his hunched down form. 

The Doctor did come out to talk to them about forty-five minutes after Cat, Ragnor and Will had arrived at the hospital. 

  “Has Mr. Carstairs’ soulmate been contacted?” was the first thing the doctor asked. 

  “He doesn't have a soulmate,” Will replied, tired and void of real emotion.

  “His soulmark is filled in.” The doctor replied, one eyebrow raised. 

  “He would have told me.” Will had muttered with conviction, “If he’d found her, he would have told me.” 

Brushing past the subject of soulmates, the doctor continued on describing the circumstances of Jem’s condition. There was little comfort to be found in his words. Jem had suffered acute kidney failure, and even if he made it through dialysis, it was nothing but a short term solution. a transplant had suddenly become acute. 

Cat spend the night wandering the waiting area. Round and round in a circle she walked. Past Ragnor and Will, who stayed sitting close together. “He would have told me. Why didn’t he tell me?” Will kept wondering. Past Magnus, who, as the night progressed became still more agitated. Hospitals were filled with too many bad memories for him. She shouldn't have asked him to come. Past Raphael, sitting stoic and unreadable in his chair, clever eyes scanning over everything in his way. 

At some point Will was allowed in the room with Jem. While he was gone Ragnor walked up to the nurse at her desk. He disappeared for a while after that, and when he came back he looked pale and determined. He handed a bunch of leaflets on kidney transplants and donations to Cat, asking her to hide them from Will for the time being. 

Will returned to the waiting room not long after Ragnor had returned. He was pale and shaky, his eyes clouded with exhaustion. 

  “She’s some daughter of an anti-soulmate politician. He met her when she came to test out catering options with her brother for his upcoming wedding. She wants nothing to do with him, and he doesn’t want to fight for someone who obviously doesn’t want him. So. That’s why he didn’t tell anyone. He knew we’d try to force him to fight.”

Shortly after relaying Jem’s story, Will fell asleep with his head resting in Ragnor’s lap. The rest of the group didn’t close an eye during their silent wait. Every white coat and every set of scrubs passing them had Cat’s heart jump into her throat. But by morning no bad news was relayed to them, and Cat allowed herself to finally breath a sigh of relief. 

(***)

Simon flinched when he switched on the light and spotted Max sitting on his bed in the darkened room. Max smiled weakly at him, waving a half wave. 

“Hi,” he whispered into the silence of Simon’s room. A chill wind was drifting in through the window Max hadn’t bothered closing after he’d climbed through it. It made him shiver slightly. 

  “Hi.” Simon eyed the packed duffel bag beneath his window as he made his way over to the bed. “Shouldn’t you be at your brothers wedding?” He sat down next to Max, worry clear in the kind light brown eyes. Max shrugged halfheartedly with one shoulder. 

  “Remember that fight I told you about? The one where I screamed statistics at Izzy, accused Alec of cowardice and told my mother I’d out the whole family to the press?” Simon nodded slowly, eyes not leaving Max’s face. “Yeah, that got me disinvited. Alec tried to fight it, but. I didn't want to go anyway, so.” 

  “You’re seriously skipping out of your brother’s wedding?” there was a hint of incredulity in Simon’s voice. 

  “He was my hero growing up. I know he thought Jace was the one I looked up to the most, and yeah, Jace has this general air of confidence that every man gets jealous of, in some way. But Alec. He was the kind of person I dreamt of someday becoming my self. Strong, steady and kindhearted. And honest. Today I lose my hero. The one person out of my entire family I thought would always be on my side no matter what betrays everything I stand for. I cannot witness that.” 

  “But he’s your brother, and I bet he’s scared shitless by all of this. He needs you Max. I know it’s hard, but he really needs you.” 

  “I’m transferring schools.” Max kept looking down at his hands, doing his best to ignore the waves of worry rolling off of Simon. “I start after christmas. But I’m going to head out early. Get settled; Look for a job.” 

  “Wait what? What school?” Simon’s worry was changing in to beginning panic. 

  “My flight’s in a couple of hours. I just wanted to stop by to say goodbye.” Max only dared a brief look at the disbelieving face of his best friend as he got to his feet. 

  “Max!” Simon reached out to grab Max’ arm tightly. “What school? What’s happening right now?” 

  “I deactivated my email earlier, so.” 

  “Max!” 

  “And I left my phone back at my parents house.” 

  “Max! You’re not seriously doing this! You are not going to run away!” There was a plead woven into Simon’s determined words. He grabbed Max by the shoulders, holding onto them almost harshly, as he tried to catch Max’ eyes. 

  “I have to,” Max gave in and looked into Simon’s eyes. “I can’t stay, Si. I just can’t.” 

  “At least tell me where you’re going, Max! Don’t shut me out as well!” Simon’s desperation hit Max in an onslaught of physical pain that made breathing hard. 

  “I have to, Si. If I don’t make a clean break, I wont do it at all. And I have to do this. I’m sorry.” There were tears trapped in his throat when Max leaned in to gently pressing a kiss against his friend’s tear-damp cheek. Simon was shaking his head, his hands painful around Max shoulders. “I’m really sorry,” Gently, Max reached up to dislodge Simon’s hands. “Bye.” Simon watched with dark tear-filled eyes as Max walked to the window, grabbed his duffel bag and climbed onto the window sill. 

  “Please,” Simon’s softly whispered final plea followed Max out the window.     

(8 years later)

Cat was certain she had never seen her brother as happy as he looked that night, standing beside his unconventional second soulmate. It was a happiness she shared though. When Camille had left in a flurry of destruction Cat had feared happiness would never truly get to grow in Magnus’ heart again. But then she’d started getting calls filled with talks of this parent to one of kids Magnus taught. Alec Lightwood was, despite the rocky start, perfect for her drama-queen of a brother. His calm eyes and indulgent smile was disarming for someone like Magnus Bane. 

Cat had found an undisturbed corner to observe the party from. They were all here, the old crew from her college days. For the first time in what felt like ages, they’d managed to be at the same place at the same time. She loved her job back in Chicago, but it was a long way from her family. 

Raphael was hiding in a corner just like she was. He wasn't watching the party though, but rather the small baby he was feeding a bottle. She suspected one eye was flicking to where his soulmate was having an animated and apparently emotional conversation with Alec’s estranged brother. 

Jem, too, was emerged in conversation with one of the Lightwood children, though this conversation seemed much more restrained. His arms were folded almost protectively across his chest as he leant in to the words spoken to him. He was looking better these days. In fact, he was looking almost radiant. Perhaps the new job away from the kitchen was doing him some good. 

  “Do you find it creepy that Magnus’ second soulmate is my doppelgänger?” Will had slinked over to Cat in her corner, and leaned back against the wall with his eyes on Alec. 

  “Slightly creepy, yeah.” Cat smiled at Ragnor’s soulmate. They had moved away from New York as well, after Will got a job in LA at a special effects company. The couple had gotten married a couple of months ago, finally, after years of negotiating terms and conditions. “So how’s LA treating you?” 

At some point during their catch up, Ragnor drifted over to join them. Not long after that, the two of them had drifted of into their own conversation. Cat smiled at the sight of them leaning into each others spaces as the quietly spoke together, and went in search of a drink. The estranged brother was already at the drinks table, and he send her a smile filled with warmth and cheekiness. There was something attractive about the way his eyes danced with mirth. “Hi, we haven’t met, I think.” he held out his hand for her to shake. “I’m Max.” Her own name froze on her lips at the tingle spreading from her wrist up through her arm.


End file.
